Speaking out should be a choice

On Monday morning, 20-year-old Chris Brown pleaded guilty to the Feb. 8 felony assault against 21-year-old former girlfriend Rihanna.

It was announced that Brown would go to trial in March, shortly after Rihanna was subpoenaed to testify. The estimated punishment ranged from probation minimum to four years in jail maximum.

The final outcome on Monday resulted in 180 days of community service and five years of probation for Brown. The court also administered a “complete stay away” order in which Brown and Rihanna must remain 50-feet away from each other. The only exception is at industry events where both are present. The limit is then lowered to 10-feet.

It would be nice to say the media frenzy surrounding the R&B artists is over, but we know that it won’t be until everyone hears Rihanna’s version of the events. And with Brown’s plea agreement, her subpoenaed, public-record testimony was not needed.

Before the scheduled court appearance, celebrities, media and fans alike all clamored for Rihanna’s version of what transpired. Everyone wanted to know what exactly happened.

We then started to receive details via hospital photos and police reports, but still nothing from Rihanna. And despite the fact that we know the basic premise of what happened and have seen the results, people still want Rihanna to talk.

I would like to think that this strong moral outcry comes from a need to publicize the truth about abusive relationships – but really I think the majority of people just want to hear the juicy dirt. If we were really interested in teaching people about how to prevent abuse, we would – with or without Rihanna’s testimony.

In fact, here’s a little lesson on domestic abuse. The May 2000 “Intimate Partner Violence” report by the Bureau of Justice says 20 percent of dating couples between 16 and 24-years-old report some type of violence in their relationships.

This makes Rihanna’s unfortunate situation not uncommon. But instead of trying to reach out to those one-in-five victims, we’ve too busy trying to get Rihanna to spill the gossip about what happened to her. We forget that the important lesson in this situation is starting a dialogue, not rehashing the assaulted pop star’s wounds.

Crimes like assault, rape and abuse need to be talked about – but it’s a heck of a lot easier to talk about them when we aren’t the victims. These are crimes that people – especially teenagers – need to know about, know how to spot and know how to stop. But speaking out about a personal experience as a victim should be viewed as courageous – not as a requirement.

Maybe Rihanna will eventually talk about what happened to her – and hopefully inspire others to stand up and talk about their experiences. But she should also be allowed the opportunity to heal in her own way before she is comfortable enough to relay her experiences with others.