Pride and Predjudice and Zombies oh my!

I've never been a fan of delivering a review for something I haven't completed, but then again, that's never stopped me.

Right now I'm reading a book called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!" The basic gist is Seth Grahame-Smith takes Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" and tweaks it with zombies (and the occasional ninja).

As a forewarning, I have to say that this book is absolutely hilarious. But it is only funny because I love the original. For those who skipped "Pride and Prejudice" in their sophomore English class, go back and read it. It's better than watching a marathon of reality television.

The zombie-fied version of P&P is so well put together - mostly because Grahame-Smith only changes around some words of Austen's original text and adds in a few scenes or two. Essentially, the original story is the same. The events progress in the same way. Elizabeth and Darcy eventually overcome their complicated problems and express their love to each other - they just do it while defeating a hord of zombies!

It even has artwork! In the words of our beloved former President W. "The best thing about books is sometimes there are fantastic pictures!" The artwork is amazing, but sparse. It's only there for extra amusement, but well done nonetheless.

I'll update with another entry as soon as I am done reading it. As for now, go out and find yourself a copy of "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" and get ready to laugh yourself to death - then rise once again to walk among the land of the living.

Speaking out should be a choice

On Monday morning, 20-year-old Chris Brown pleaded guilty to the Feb. 8 felony assault against 21-year-old former girlfriend Rihanna.

It was announced that Brown would go to trial in March, shortly after Rihanna was subpoenaed to testify. The estimated punishment ranged from probation minimum to four years in jail maximum.

The final outcome on Monday resulted in 180 days of community service and five years of probation for Brown. The court also administered a “complete stay away” order in which Brown and Rihanna must remain 50-feet away from each other. The only exception is at industry events where both are present. The limit is then lowered to 10-feet.

It would be nice to say the media frenzy surrounding the R&B artists is over, but we know that it won’t be until everyone hears Rihanna’s version of the events. And with Brown’s plea agreement, her subpoenaed, public-record testimony was not needed.

Before the scheduled court appearance, celebrities, media and fans alike all clamored for Rihanna’s version of what transpired. Everyone wanted to know what exactly happened.

We then started to receive details via hospital photos and police reports, but still nothing from Rihanna. And despite the fact that we know the basic premise of what happened and have seen the results, people still want Rihanna to talk.

I would like to think that this strong moral outcry comes from a need to publicize the truth about abusive relationships – but really I think the majority of people just want to hear the juicy dirt. If we were really interested in teaching people about how to prevent abuse, we would – with or without Rihanna’s testimony.

In fact, here’s a little lesson on domestic abuse. The May 2000 “Intimate Partner Violence” report by the Bureau of Justice says 20 percent of dating couples between 16 and 24-years-old report some type of violence in their relationships.

This makes Rihanna’s unfortunate situation not uncommon. But instead of trying to reach out to those one-in-five victims, we’ve too busy trying to get Rihanna to spill the gossip about what happened to her. We forget that the important lesson in this situation is starting a dialogue, not rehashing the assaulted pop star’s wounds.

Crimes like assault, rape and abuse need to be talked about – but it’s a heck of a lot easier to talk about them when we aren’t the victims. These are crimes that people – especially teenagers – need to know about, know how to spot and know how to stop. But speaking out about a personal experience as a victim should be viewed as courageous – not as a requirement.

Maybe Rihanna will eventually talk about what happened to her – and hopefully inspire others to stand up and talk about their experiences. But she should also be allowed the opportunity to heal in her own way before she is comfortable enough to relay her experiences with others.

One less distraction for drivers

I've got terrible road rage. I blame my father. He has it too.

Over the years, I've tried to fight the urge to yell at drivers who can't hear me, chase drivers who cut me off and deliver a well-placed middle finger to drivers who piss me off. I'm usually good about not doing the last two, although I can't seem to curb my appetite to yell obscenities at people who obviously slept through driver's ed.

But thanks to the Tennessee General Assembly, there's one less thing drivers can now do to insight my road rage. Gov. Phil Bredesen signed the "texting while driving" bill into law early last month. It prohibits a person from writing or reading text messages while driving a vehicle.

Like any good legislation, there are people who are above the law. Exemptions include police officers and medical workers - when both are "in the actual discharge of their official duties."

The law does not apply to people who are in a vehicle when it is not moving. So if you wanted to text it up with a friend, make sure you do it at a stoplight. Entering a telephone number to call someone is also allowed. So texting is bad, but flipping through your contact list is a-OK.

Tennessee is not the first state to take a stance against cell phones on the road. Many other states actually prohibit the use of cell phones while driving all together. Some prohibit handhelds, but allow speakers and headsets. Comparatively, Tennessee is actually pretty chill on cell phones and driving.

While flipping through coverage on the texting and driving legislation, two sides became very clear. One thinks the legislation is unnecessary. Tennessee already has a "driving while distracted" law that allows officers to ticket someone who is obviously impaired - perhaps by a text message.

The second group applauds legislatures for protecting our roads - one less evil to distract people while operating a 5,000-pound death machine.

Honestly, I just think it's a sad day when we have to make common sense law. I've texted and driven - on empty roads with no one around or while sitting in traffic. Texting while driving is dangerous if you put yourself in a dangerous situation.

It has gotten to a point where people seem more preoccupied with doing everything but driving in their cars. I've seen everything from eating morning breakfast to putting on makeup. On one occasion I saw a woman driving with her knees so she could text.

Technology is amazing, but we are starting to use it more like an idiocracy rather than a society full of intelligent individuals. It takes very little effort to visualize the negative ramifications of texting while driving - just think about ramming your car into a tree at 70 mph.

But for those who still want to text and drive - fear not. The law does not take effect until July 1. So enjoy your last month of being able to text and drive without a $50 ticket.

ORIGINALLY POSTED: www.mtsusidelines.com on June 3, 2009.